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Netiquette
The
'feel' of a computer forum is somewhere between spoken and written
language in its formality. Writing styles tend to be informal, without
excessive worry about typing errors or minor lapses in grammar. Despite
the limitations of the medium, a strong sense of individual
personalities comes through. It may be something inherent in the
medium, or it may just be the ethos that has grown around computer
forums, but there is often a tremendous sense of support and
friendship, rather than competition.
The principles of good
communication in a computer forum are basically very similar to those
in normal conversation and are largely common sense. But, because of
the limitations of the medium (and with them the hazard of 'flaming'
–see below), more care and attention is needed than in face-to-face
discussion. The main principle is the intention to come to a shared
understanding, which means trying to understand other people's views,
rather than simply expressing yourself, or worse, trying to impose your
views on others.
There are three key principles that help to ensure good communication.
1 Thank, acknowledge and support people freely.
'I
liked your comment in …' 'I agree with so-and-so's idea that …' 'Thanks
Sarah for that contribution. I got a lot out of it.' 'Welcome to the
conference, Bill.'
In a computer forum you cannot see the other
people nod their heads, smile, or otherwise indicate that they have
heard what you said. If you don't receive an acknowledgement of a
message, you may feel ignored, even when others have appreciated your
contribution. This principle is particularly important when a group is
set up as a support group, as it maintains the relationship necessary
for people to feel supported. People know that they have been
appreciated and are encouraged to contribute further.
A note of caution: if everyone in a forum acknowledged everyone else's
messages,
the forum would be clogged with messages saying 'Thanks!' Before
acknowledging, check that there aren't already several similar messages.
2 Acknowledge before differing.
'What I think you mean in essence is … Have I got that right? My own view differs as follows …'
Before
you disagree with someone, start by briefly restating what the other
person has said in your own words. The person then knows that you are
trying to understand them, and is thus in a better position to take
your view seriously.
Otherwise, you risk a sequence of
statements flying backwards and forwards with little mutual
understanding or possibility of coming to agreement (even if it is
agreement to differ).
3 Speak from your own perspective (or at least some specified perspective).
'Here's how I see it/how I feel about it/what I want to do …'
A commonly used abbreviation is 'IMHO', which stands for 'In My Humble Opinion', introduced for this purpose.
Similarly, you can present other people's views, with a direct quote and
acknowledgement if possible. 'As so-and-so said in XX …' 'Official government views as given in … are …'
The
most serious problems tend to occur when people speak impersonally:
'This is the way it is …' 'It is a fact that …' If no perspective is
given, a statement may seem dogmatic or moralistic. If something is put
as an absolute, there is no room for anyone else's perspective.
You may find that for casual remarks, writing in the first person can seem
awkward. Thus this principle (as with the others) should not be applied too rigidly.
It is most important when you are saying something that might appear
controversial or contentious.
Avoid 'flaming spirals'
It's
easy to respond quickly to something that makes you angry, but you
don't get the feedback you would in speech where someone might quickly
say 'but I didn't mean …' The result can be a series of angry outbursts
('flaming'), leading to an ever-increasing spiral of abuse (a 'flaming
spiral'). When this happens, it can seriously disrupt a forum.
Write
your angry message by all means, but try not to send it straight away –
come back to it later, consider the effect it may have, and rethink
your wording.
The best solutions are for the people involved to
affirm that they had not intended to offend and to show that they
understand the other's point of view
Be careful about emotions in messages
Emotions
can easily be misunderstood when you can't see faces or body language.
You may unwittingly upset someone: people's differing backgrounds and
experience may mean that something one person thinks is funny will be
offensive to another, so be cautious if you are not sure. People may
not realise you are joking, being satirical or being sarcastic. There
are conventions for saying 'this is a joke' or expressing your
feelings, which you may wish to use. They are called 'smileys' or
'emoticons'; look at them sideways: 8-) or :-) or :-( or ;-).
Note
that people with visual impairments who are using screen readers find
smileys hard to interpret. Other people prefer to use (!), or for grin,
or other indications.
IF YOU WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS IT WILL COME OVER AS SHOUTING!
Stay Focussed
Avoid
multiple answers to a message. Before sending a helpful reply to
someone's question, check to be sure that someone else hasn't already
said the same thing.
Keep messages short. Write concisely and
try to avoid messages longer than one or two screens. That helps people
to follow the flow of the discussion.
It can be helpful to quote
the relevant part of a message you are replying to (e.g. so-and-so said
'…'). Otherwise, in a busy forum, it can be time-consuming to find the
original message.
All messages have a 'subject' line, indicating
the contents of the message. People see this before they see the
contents of your message and may use it to decide whether or not to
read your message. Take the subject line seriously and make sure it is
clear.