Nanning and China Information Forum

Information for the UK, , about Nanning and China


    marriage

    Share
    avatar
    wanneroo
    Dedicated Member
    Dedicated  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 679
    Age : 76
    Where I live : Perth Australia
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2009-12-13

    marriage

    Post by wanneroo on 14/09/10, 02:08 am

    Hi Guys I havent been on the forum for a time, Mary and I are hoping to marry in Australia, Mary wants to see what its like here with the view to setting in Australia, I have been busy getting all the documentation enabling her to apply for a tourist visa in China I called in the immigration dept in Perth they gave me good information on what we need to do to have Marys tourist visa qualified like proof of a continuing relationship photos air tickets etc
    We will return to Nanning after the 3 month allowance and apply for the spouces visa in China
    Its been a topsy turvy time for me due to misunderstandings mainly language and communication
    One needs to be patient when asking a Chinese Woman to do anything in a time frame, I have learned a lot with the culture and the country,
    My friends think its all too difficult to have a relationship this way I shoud seek a Western Women I would like members to comment on why they choose to marry a Chinese lady I have my reasons why I dont wish to pursue a western woman
    Crying or Very sad
    avatar
    Beijing2008
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 932
    Age : 66
    Where I live : Hoofddorp ,The Netherlands
    I have visited China : 5 times
    Registration date : 2010-08-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by Beijing2008 on 14/09/10, 09:16 am

    Hi, didn't you get sick and tired of all the visa requirements? As I understand from the stories here,it is nearly impossible to get a visa for a Chinese citizen?
    You are SOOOOO right, timetable isn't translatable into Chinese, neither is; making an appointment,arrive in time, organising.Studying,planning, LISTEN if someone is trying to teach/tell you.
    Do I need to go on? Razz
    Language is a huge problem, my wife came here in july 2006, started language/inegration course november 2006. But since the education was low level, and she was always in contact with Chinese people, and working in Chinese restaurant, her Dutch is still, after 4 years , "not so good".
    Our son is 4 , since Sept7, and his Dutch is fluently Laughing
    avatar
    handyal
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 3392
    Age : 65
    Where I live : Roi-Et Thailand
    I have visited China : 6 times
    Registration date : 2008-01-06

    Re: marriage

    Post by handyal on 14/09/10, 04:12 pm

    Hi Geoff,

    I followed your posts and your story with Mary but I've either missed something or the goal posts have changed.

    Didn't Mary want to marry in Australia because of personal family issue which you then resolved so marriage in Nanning was possible.

    Why apply for a Visitor Visa which will cost time and money and you will have to put up a security bond.

    If you want to marry and live in Australia it would seem the logical process is to apply for a Fiance Visa. Mary will have time to consider if she enjoys Australia, although if I remember this has always been the condition she set to live in Aus, then get married.

    Perhaps I missed something but this seems a new plan !
    avatar
    wanneroo
    Dedicated Member
    Dedicated  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 679
    Age : 76
    Where I live : Perth Australia
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2009-12-13

    Re: marriage

    Post by wanneroo on 17/09/10, 02:11 am

    Thanks Al for your post, yes the goal posts have changed I could pull the pin and have a simple boring life but I have chosen to proceed with Marys requests if it falls in a heap thats too bad, Iam 67 my calander is a little shorter I will take the risk, I have been warned about some Chinese Woman money being the main reason to secure a Western man its not always the case Iam sure, one has to be aware at all times, there is no fool like an old fool they say, Mary is 60 years old not a 35 year old



    avatar
    wanneroo
    Dedicated Member
    Dedicated  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 679
    Age : 76
    Where I live : Perth Australia
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2009-12-13

    Re: marriage

    Post by wanneroo on 17/09/10, 05:18 am

    thought this was of interest Very Happy

    While internet dating is an excellent way to meet other singles, unfortunately the internet also offers new opportunities for criminals and dishonest individuals to extort money from unsuspecting individuals. In order to avoid any problems, it is better to be overly cautious. Here are some tips and suggestions to keep in mind:

    NEVER send cash to someone you have met online, but have not yet met in person.
    Be suspicious of people who appear to be overtly persistent or aggressive in their requests for money.
    Common examples of scams include requests for large sums of money to make payments towards plane tickets, legal fees, visa and immigration charges, medical expenses, marriage annulment fees etc.
    If you feel you must assist someone to purchase a plane ticket, then always buy the ticket yourself on behalf of the visitor and make sure the ticket can be refunded in case you need to cancel it.
    If you must make any other payments, do so directly with the organization, only after you have verified the invoice is genuine
    avatar
    Chris Seaborn
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 1507
    Age : 73
    Where I live : Wonthaggi, Victoria, Australia.
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2007-08-02

    Re: marriage

    Post by Chris Seaborn on 17/09/10, 05:24 am

    Hi Geof, good to see you posting, I think if you were marrying a much younger lady perhaps the signs would be like someone waving a red flag and yelling...'Go back, go back!!' Mary's 60 and you're 67, I can understand her looking for security but that doesn't mean you have to have a lot of money, her security could just to be in a sound relationship (love is hard to define after a short courting period and when you're away from each other) but someone who will respect her and look after her. But too many times we have seen guys being left to hang out to dry after their girls have been established in their new countries and many times these guys been stripped financialy. Fore warned is fore armed as they say. I think you'll be fine. If this is so you'll have a wonderful life ahead of you.
    Cheers mate,
    Chris.

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: marriage

    Post by Guest on 17/09/10, 07:42 am

    Hi Geoff.

    You ask the question why we choose to marry a Chinese lady and not a Western lady because basically Chinese women still have the old fashion values of been faithful and loyal and very much committed to family values where today a Western woman has no shame having three or four children to different partners. Yes there is scheming Chinese women whose one ambition is to make as much money as possible from any gullible Westerner there is in any culture or society throughout the world and it's not just women its man as well.

    It's certainly not a bed of roses there's many difficulties to overcome like the difference in cultures and language the easy part is getting married and applying for a visa. When you're living together you after give and take an be understanding and patient it's not always easy some days you feel like pulling your hair out it can be frustrating but well worth it in the end...

    You always have friends telling you she's marrying you for your money or a visa etc you have to do what is right for you not for your friends we can advise but you will make the decision and live with it, in 90 per cent of cases member of this forum are very happy with their Chinese wife..

    My advice if is worth anything you are 67 maybe five years left or 20 of life it's a great adventure which a few years ago you never dream of doing just go for it or sit by your fire with your slippers than spend the rest of your life thinking "if "
    avatar
    MadGee
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 810
    Age : 60
    Where I live : Wherever I Lay My Hat
    I have visited China : 9 times or more
    Registration date : 2008-06-17

    Re: marriage

    Post by MadGee on 17/09/10, 08:46 am

    Hi Geoff,

    I've just read all your posts from day one!

    All I can say is; communication has been your biggest problem and Mary's attitude about 'Australia or bust'. Be 100% sure that whatever you decide, is what you really want to do, to be happy. This is not about you compromising, that comes later, it's about what you want now and for the future.

    Robert rightly says:
    go for it or sit by your fire with your slippers than spend the rest of your life thinking "if "
    There are two sides to the 'if'.

    Before you get married Geoff please think about doing this:
    Find yourself a good, neutral translator and get the answers to any old and new questions you have, face to face. It could be the best money you will ever spend.

    In an earlier post you mentioned Mary's translator 'friend'? Is she still doing the emails for you both?

    I wish you all the best for your future happiness.
    avatar
    Beijing2008
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 932
    Age : 66
    Where I live : Hoofddorp ,The Netherlands
    I have visited China : 5 times
    Registration date : 2010-08-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by Beijing2008 on 17/09/10, 09:01 am

    As Graham said; try to find an honoust Chinese translator. to be sure Chinese text is translated well. If your wife uses a Friend to translate,it can be true but it often means a Bureau. Which is commercial ,( and expensive) and will colour the content, to keep you eager.And keep on the meaasages coming and going.
    Did you ever talk to that friend?
    As you know many translating programs are used also, and most of the time , you cannot make anything out of it.
    When you communicate, you do it in English or Chinglish or with translating?

    Many of us are 50+ , and understand your fear and hope.
    What does yout guts say? How do YOU feel , excluding all advices.

    When my oldest daughter first heard I wanted to go to China, to meet my girlfriend, her reaction was"Daddy, I know you are an old fool, but I hope you will be happy."
    Since my wife is in NL, and our son born in 2006, I have seen my daughters 2 times since than. The oldest is maried, and they have a 1 year old son. I see his pic on Facebook......
    Be aware some people will turn away from you.Even the ones you didn't expect to be like that.

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: marriage

    Post by Guest on 17/09/10, 09:15 am

    Graham50 wrote:Hi Geoff,

    I've just read all your posts from day one!

    All I can say is; communication has been your biggest problem and Mary's attitude about 'Australia or bust'. Be 100% sure that whatever you decide, is what you really want to do, to be happy. This is not about you compromising, that comes later, it's about what you want now and for the future.

    Robert rightly says:
    go for it or sit by your fire with your slippers than spend the rest of your life thinking "if "
    There are two sides to the 'if'.

    Before you get married Geoff please think about doing this:
    Find yourself a good, neutral translator and get the answers to any old and new questions you have, face to face. It could be the best money you will ever spend.

    In an earlier post you mentioned Mary's translator 'friend'? Is she still doing the emails for you both?

    I wish you all the best for your future happiness.

    of course there many sides to "if" one side doing nothing and regretting it or one-sided of having the biggest disaster on your hands and regretting it but having the adventure, or other side finding happiness.

    As we all know life is a gamble sometimes you win sometimes you lose, but at 67 you don't get many chances in life at this age is better than sitting down watching Arsenal lol

    good advice about the translator will be money well spent


    avatar
    handyal
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 3392
    Age : 65
    Where I live : Roi-Et Thailand
    I have visited China : 6 times
    Registration date : 2008-01-06

    Re: marriage

    Post by handyal on 24/09/10, 05:36 pm

    Hi Geoff,

    Thinking about your circumstances, if Mary gets a visitor visa for Aus and you get married there, she will have to return to China and apply for a Spouse Visa.
    What happens if it is refused ? Will you move to China and would Mary be happy with that ?

    Whilst you might be trying to do things as per Mary's requests, she doesn't have a clue about Immigration procedures for Aus and you should be advising her on the safest way to proceed whilst still meeting Mary's conditions.

    If you have limit funds, it seems a waste to apply for a visitor visa and trip to Aus, when you will have to do it all over again if Mary likes Aus. If you get any complications you could find yourself married with you in Aus and Mary in China. That's no good for either of you and will only cause a lot of tension and frustration.

    Your 67, she is 60, if your both in agreement why waste precious time. The common sense approach from a time and expense point of view would be to apply for a Fiance Visa.
    If the Visa is refused then you can consider other options. At least the problem will be evident from the start and only the minimum money wasted.
    If the Visa is granted then Mary can spend up to 6 months in Aus (before marrying) to decide if she likes it, (which I'm sure she will), and then upgrade her Visa to a spouse visa from within Aus.

    One application, one trip, no time wasting and no commitment to marriage by either untill you are both sure.

    From reading all your previous posts Geoff, Mary wanted to marry and reside in Aus from day 1, so who has been causing the uncertainties and delays ? For gods sake, get on with it, live long, and be happy.

    Lifes to short to worry about what if ! Get a Fiance Visa application in and both make the commitment. Mary wants some security, that's all. She sounds the positive one, and your stumbling

    I'm betting if you told Mary youv'e decided to applying for a Fiance visa, then get married if she likes Aus, and remain their together as man and wife, she would be as pleased as punch.
    avatar
    dafu
    Intermediate Member
    Intermediate Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 348
    Age : 72
    Where I live : Nagykanizsa, Hungary and Nanning
    I have visited China : I live in China
    Registration date : 2010-07-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by dafu on 24/09/10, 11:20 pm

    I have previously assisted a Chinese lady to get a fiance visa for Australia. It must be applied for in China. The visa requires that you marry within a certain time frame (3 months) or return home. Once the marriage takes place you apply within Australia for a spouse visa. After two years this can be upgraded to a settlement visa, again from within Australia.

    If you keep copies of all the application forms etc. required for the fiance visa you can apply for the remaining visas yourself using the same information.

    The lady in question was successful with her visa application and has since married. They are now applying for the spouse visa.
    avatar
    wanneroo
    Dedicated Member
    Dedicated  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 679
    Age : 76
    Where I live : Perth Australia
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2009-12-13

    Re: marriage

    Post by wanneroo on 01/10/10, 03:07 am

    Hi Handy Al
    your comments are very sensible I have thought long and hard over this I love this lady wish I could be more practical, I try to be, but emotions get in the way at times,
    Regarding a marraige in Australia on the tourist visa, maybe not such a good idea, I have had further communication from Mary regarding the spouces visa getting refused, I think it will be best to apply for the prospective marraige visa, this was our original plan, Mary thought getting married in Australia would be very nice sort of very romantic, the tourist visa has been applied for now so I will have to wear the cost, at least she will be able to be here with me in my country for three months then I will travel back to Nanning with her and apply for the prospective marraige visa, we can marry later, if this is approved it makes commom sense doesnt it? it would be easy to foget all of this and get the beige cardigan and slippers out and join the seniors group down the road, this is not the way I want to live my life, I need to have a goal the "IF" question doesnt occur to me I am just getting on with it thanks for giving the good advice I chat to Mary ever night on Skipe its just so good to see her and her me, we are on for about 2 hours each night, me teaching her English etc, web cams are a must in distant relationships, it just feels like being with her everyday, However I want to be with her in the real world Very Happy

    CPRSCC
    Valued Contributor
    Valued Contributor

    Male
    Number of posts : 527
    Age : 63
    Where I live : Canberra, Australia
    I have visited China : 7 times
    Registration date : 2010-05-06

    Re: marriage

    Post by CPRSCC on 01/10/10, 08:00 am

    Good on you Geoff. If you and Mary want to do the tourist visa trip first then go for it. In the long term, when you apply for the prospective marriage visa it will be something of a plus - that you can point to 3 months of being together which is a lot more than most of us on here could have done. There is another side to this: if the 3 months visit doesn't work (and I'm not wishing this on you at all) then you haven't blown your chances for a future application.
    avatar
    handyal
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 3392
    Age : 65
    Where I live : Roi-Et Thailand
    I have visited China : 6 times
    Registration date : 2008-01-06

    Re: marriage

    Post by handyal on 01/10/10, 05:41 pm

    Thanks for the explanation Geoff, now I follow your plans.

    A visit first, then a Fiance Visa as we reffer to it in the UK.

    rich.redw
    Member
    Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 28
    Age : 73
    Where I live : Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
    I have visited China : 2 times
    Registration date : 2010-09-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by rich.redw on 21/10/10, 05:33 pm

    Very Happy Hi Waneroo, I am planning to marry in Nanning next year in February...if all goes well... I met my wife for the first time in Sept. 2009. I also met her family and friends, very nice people indeed I think that if you love your friend...it doesnt matter how complicated things get...in the end youll see that its worth the trouble. I chose to marry a Chinese lady because I think I will have a good life with her and she will be sincere to me...I wont say anything bad about Western women..they are many good women out there...I cant explain it really, but it was love at first sight and I felt right away that this was the woman for me..
    She is traditional Chinese and we learn from each other, in many ways language, culture!!
    I just wish you best of luck with your future wife.....Rich.redw Very Happy
    avatar
    wanneroo
    Dedicated Member
    Dedicated  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 679
    Age : 76
    Where I live : Perth Australia
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2009-12-13

    Re: marriage

    Post by wanneroo on 21/10/10, 11:50 pm

    Thanks Rich, Mary was very happy to receive the tourist visa very quickly, she is so happy she will be in Australia on Nov 1st, she has a constant smile on her face, I met her last October after a few failed relationships Western style, I like you, it was love at first sight, I have been to Nanning twice in 2010, getting to know Mary, Its been an interesting and exciting time for me, meeting Mary and the cultural differences have been a challenge, My decision was to do this and that sometimes I thought it was too hard to have a long distance relationship, not something I embraced, however the magic of Mary and her country has fascinated me and give me so much more than I have had for a long time, I wish you well with your planned marriage in Feb I will be in Nanning until Feb 22 let me know if you would like to meet up Best wishes Geoff
    avatar
    Chris Seaborn
    Senior Member
    Senior  Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 1507
    Age : 73
    Where I live : Wonthaggi, Victoria, Australia.
    I have visited China : 4 times
    Registration date : 2007-08-02

    Re: marriage

    Post by Chris Seaborn on 22/10/10, 01:08 am

    Hi Rich and hi Geoff, yes so much culture and you've found the secret...embrace it. My wife is a traditional Chinese too a dying breed alas, the new generation will lose the sense of family values as they westernise, pretty sad, maybe it won't happen! With the language, you must learn and remember that translations are not perfect so don't take to heart everything that you read, sometimes to, your ladies will tell you what they think you want to hear so as not to upset you. This can be frustrating..but this is part of the enduring nature of the Chinese culture, it makes things harder while conducting a relationship from a distance, sure, just live with it because the rewards from a sincere loyal wife are vast. Treat your ladies and their families with respect, try to follow their traditions, the Chinese are a forgiving people, if you make a mistake...hey! you're a visitor, you are trying, thank you. I'm not writing this to you guys because it sounds as if you have learnt this and are 'going with the flow', a piece of advice that is used quite often on this forum, but to new members about to tread the path of a new life.

    Good luck with you both.

    Chris, Ying and Ting.

    rich.redw
    Member
    Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 28
    Age : 73
    Where I live : Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
    I have visited China : 2 times
    Registration date : 2010-09-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by rich.redw on 22/10/10, 11:00 am

    Hi Chris...thanks for the good advice....I am sure I will need all the good advice I can get..My future wife, (Wan Ling is her name) is very correct and polite,I have no doubt in my mind that we will make a good couple..I wish she was with me for my 65th birthday(next Tuesday) but we will meet on messenger and exchange greetings..I am beginning to like this forum...meeting interesting people....All the best..Rich.

    rich.redw
    Member
    Member

    Male
    Number of posts : 28
    Age : 73
    Where I live : Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
    I have visited China : 2 times
    Registration date : 2010-09-26

    Re: marriage

    Post by rich.redw on 22/10/10, 11:14 am

    wanneroo wrote:Thanks Rich, Mary was very happy to receive the tourist visa very quickly, she is so happy she will be in Australia on Nov 1st, she has a constant smile on her face, I met her last October after a few failed relationships Western style, I like you, it was love at first sight, I have been to Nanning twice in 2010, getting to know Mary, Its been an interesting and exciting time for me, meeting Mary and the cultural differences have been a challenge, My decision was to do this and that sometimes I thought it was too hard to have a long distance relationship, not something I embraced, however the magic of Mary and her country has fascinated me and give me so much more than I have had for a long time, I wish you well with your planned marriage in Feb I will be in Nanning until Feb 22 let me know if you would like to meet up Best wishes Geoff

    (rich.redw) Hi there Geoff...I hope I can see Wan Ling(my girlfriend) very soon.. I wish I met her sooner....I will be in Nanning from the end of january until the middle of February.I will be attending a wedding in Thailand 13th January..and will fly out about the 17th...i would certainly like to meet you and your girlfriend..thats a good idea..Well keep in touch..In the meantime I hope you enjoy your time with Mary when she comes to Australia..I wish you all the best...Rich.

    Sponsored content

    Re: marriage

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is 19/12/18, 04:18 am