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    being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

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    handyal
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by handyal on 09/03/12, 08:59 pm

    Hi Mark,
    and a belated welcome to the forum.

    The Chinese prefer large spacious apartments. I don't know what type of property Slow has but I remember my wife liked a tall block of council flats in our town in preference to our nice 3 bed semi.

    Everyone in the high rise apartments wants to get out, but the Chinese want to get in!
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 10/03/12, 12:58 am

    I live in an apartment in Perth Australia on the 5th floor, it a 2 bed-roomed place rented, Mary would prefer my last place a villa with a garden,also it had a high rental cost rental properties here are very difficult to obtain. also situations change, This is the first time I have lived in an apartment, at 69 years of age I don't want gardens, I prefer this style of residence.its low maintenance, House or apartment purchase is not practical, I would never want this around my neck. I live here and that's the way it is, I don't pander to a woman's wants other than giving her security and taking care of her. Madgee is very correct in what he says in his post, Marys niece is to be married in Tasmania in a couple of months, I am expected to take this trip, Hobart is a very long way from Perth so we wont be attending I didn't want to appear arrogant on this matter but its not practical so it wont be happening cultural things are appreciated, money is the first God of Chinese Women,but that belongs on another post
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    Chris Seaborn
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by Chris Seaborn on 10/03/12, 09:32 pm

    Yes, preparation is important for you in bringing your wife to your country and as Wanneroo suggests, it's equally important that your wife does also. This could bring it back on your shoulders too. How much do you tell your wife of your standard of living, day to day life etc., so that it helps them get an idea what their new life will really be about? Watching western TV programmes may give a totally different aspect on their future life than what they get, not easy sometimes, but then, what is?

    Cheers,
    Chris.
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    slowheel
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by slowheel on 11/03/12, 01:10 am

    I own a old ( over 100 years)small miners cottage it is quite nice I like it it suites my needs as a single man, it was a bit of a shock for Alice when she arrived, I had sent her many photos of it and the renovation work I have done ( it's an on going process) she now has settled in, but would love a flash house and car ( not going to happen ) Sad the missing home family and friends thing has not seemed to effect her QQ is a must.

    slow
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 11/03/12, 01:38 am

    Hi Slow, Your home is where you live. Alice should accept this, its about being together, not material gain (money once again) You like a lot of older members don't need the hassles of flash houses and cars Western influences do contaminate some aspects of a relationship of an oriental/ western partnership, I say accept or live back in China, My personal situation is communication with direct translation, I am upfront and direct, you will never know what goes on, but you get a good idea after a while, just offer her the love and security, That should be enough, showering gift's upon a Woman and buying the trophy will in time cause problems, even if you are financially strong,I don't know Alice's age, I could not accept a lot younger Woman My Mary is 61 this next week she looks and behaves a lot younger we have been in Australia together 1 year and we have had a fair few adjustments to get to know one another in a live in situation, we are very well suited I wish and hope that you both have a very happy life together QQ and Skype and Viop phone to China is a must I get the China news on Sbs recall each day for her.I go to the local supermarket for her Chinese newspapers She is Chinese I am Australian we have a cultural difference this needs to be respected Money is the main driving force with the Chinese they are all the same you have to keep that in control I do now (I didn't in my Western woman's days) its a must Very Happy if you are to maintain some sanity
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    mark_in_canada
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by mark_in_canada on 11/03/12, 02:46 am

    Hi everyone, I am glad I found this site! You guys are great about sharing information.
    I am also on another forum about Canadian and Chinese couples. Let me tell you about myself in a nutshell. I met my wife through Chineselove links June 2010. It was not easy in the begining as I did not belong to any forums. As soon as I saw her photo, I new she was the one! Getting on to QQ was the best thing that happened, finally to see her was great. We continued for more than a year, then I went to China to marry her.Her hometown is Hangzhou.Have any of you been there? It is truly beautiful, especially the West Lake. I was only there for 2 weeks, but the best two weeks of my life!!! I had many ideas about China before I went, but, wow, I could never have imagined the things that I saw and experienced. It really is a differnt world there!
    Of course I love it there, and hope to retire there one day, at least that is my thought now. We were married in September 2011. Now, I am waiting for the immigration process. Curently the application is in Beijing. We are now waiting for the PPR, then if we are lucky, the Visa, or the interview.
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    slowheel
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by slowheel on 11/03/12, 03:48 am

    Welcome Mark, good to see your post, I to fell in love with China too, have been three times in all, seen quite a bit of the country but not been to Hangzhou.

    slow
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    slowheel
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by slowheel on 11/03/12, 04:07 am

    Hi Wannaroo yes you spot on with what you say, I think a lot of it has to do with "face" also, what her friends will think of her living conditions etc, It's early days yet there is much more getting to know each other to come, we have a similar age gap as you, there is no way I would bring a 20 year younger wife to the west I think it would be asking for disaster, living in China with a much younger wife would probably work ok.

    slow
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 11/03/12, 07:10 am

    An interesting view from the Daily Telegraph:



    In China's booming cities, prospective husbands are now routinely vetted about whether they own a house, and preferably also a car, before a match can be agreed. Tying the knot without a house as part of the deal is jokingly called a "naked marriage" and widely thought to be a risky choice.


    "I would choose a luxury house over a boyfriend that always makes me happy without hesitation," said one 24-year-old contestant on If You Are the One, one of China's most popular television dating shows. "And my boyfriend has to have a monthly salary of 200,000 yuan (18,900)," she demanded.


    In a bid to temper the rising expectations of Chinese women, China's Supreme Court has now ruled that from now on, the person who buys the family home, or the parents who advance them the money, will get to keep it after divorce.


    "Hopefully this will help educate younger people, especially younger women, to be more independent, and to think of marriage in the right way rather than worshipping money so much," said Hu Jiachu, a lawyer in Hunan province.


    The ruling should also help relieve some of the burden on young Chinese men, many of whom fret about the difficulty of buying even a small apartment. China's huge property bubble has driven property prices in Shanghai up to 5,000 per square metre when annual salaries average just 6,000.
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 11/03/12, 07:14 am

    Part 2 same article


    There are more and more girls who want to marry rich men and improve their financial position. It has been a really notable increase," said Wang Zhiguo, a consultant at Baihe, a Beijing-based matchmaking website.

    "Most pretty girls now try to trade on their beauty. It is an unhealthy trend and the government is now trying to restrict it," he added.

    "Having said that, money has always been an important concern when it comes to marriage. In the 1950s and 1960s, women chased after the top Communist cadres because they were guaranteed a good life. In the 1980s, when the economy opened, businessmen became sought-after.

    Chinese people have always been materialistic, but today's hot commodity is property." According to the latest statistics, there were 2.68 million divorces in China last year and divorces have multiplied at almost the same speed as China's economy has grown: by seven per cent a year for the past five years.

    In particular, more than a third of all marriages in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou now end in divorce, and the fastest-growing segment of society is those aged 25 to 34. Almost half of all divorces see a court squabble over the family assets.

    The growing popularity of divorce runs contrary to traditional Chinese culture, and newly-weds used to be warned on their wedding day that their marriage had to last "until your hair turns white". Just eight years ago, couples still needed written permission from employers or their neighbourhood committee to end a marriage.

    "With 5,000 divorces a day, it is an appalling number for Chinese people. Our families are the basic unit of society that maintains stability. The government has had to change the marriage law to keep society stable. Usually the courts now rule, in the first instance, that couples cannot divorce. They have to come back after six months if they insist on one," said Mr Hu.

    Chang Xueli, 26, a graphic designer in Beijing is one of the few Chinese women willing to risk a "naked marriage", despite the initial misgivings of her parents. "My husband is from quite a poor family, and I am from quite a well-off family," she said. "My parents tried to set me up with someone with a house, because they wanted the best for me, but I did not have any feelings for them.

    "I used to think I had to have both a man I loved and a house to get married. But then I realised sometimes you need to make a choice," she said. "Now I guess the dream is for both a husband and a wife to own a house."
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 11/03/12, 07:17 am

    Go West!!! has the Pet Shop Boys sang Very Happy
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    handyal
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by handyal on 11/03/12, 09:49 am

    Can you give a link to that Daily Telegraph report Geoff.
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    wanneroo
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by wanneroo on 11/03/12, 11:17 am

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8714097/China-tries-to-stop-women-marrying-for-money-rather-than-love.html

    Alan link,. paste into your browser

    GBA
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    Re: being prepaired for bringing a chinese partner to yoiur country

    Post by GBA on 11/03/12, 01:50 pm

    Hi. Also this..

    http://community.travelchinaguide.com/forum2.asp?i=65070


    GBA

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