Hi Roger, Chris's advice is spot on, I had the same relationship problems with past wive's children too, however there is a difference with the mysterious east, boys are different to girls (really! lol), I've had no problems with my daughter whatsoever, the exact opposite in fact, she is a delightful, caring person. A friend of mine in town is married to a Chinese lady and she had a small son, 7 or 8 years old when they first arrived. There were problems, he was an emperor, but my friend was very strong and the lads mother was supportive to him, he has turned into an Aussie! he is now 13 and does not want to go back to China, even for a holiday. He sounds like an Aussie kid, he acts like an Aussie kid and has lots of friends.
There is another advantage unsubstantiated, apart from my own observations, is the mother thing, although my wife would have come to Australia without our daughter, Ting was a great settling down inspiration for my wife. They supported each other very well and as Ting's English improved she was able to help her mother translate English into mandarin so Ying could understand the word. They chatter away and and laugh a lot, unless Ting has bought some piece of new clothing then she gets a telling off, I'll stick my nose in and say, 'You look very lovely darling', much to Tings' pleasure then we all have a good laugh, my wife doesn't like to waste money! Ring any bells guys? LOL.
My wife has not spoken to her ex husband since they were divorced, to address him to sign the necessary documents was conducted via the family, he refused! Our daughter was not living with him but that made no difference, he would not sign. The Australian immigration department will not allow entry without the other parents' consent. they are very strict on this. We had a great piece of blackmail material, he hadn't paid 'maintenance' since the divorce. He was threatened that he would be taken to court if he didn't sign. He signed. Although this information is not relevant to you Roger, but it may help another reader.
There are some horror stories concerning sons but can be counterbalanced by other ones, as the person I know here. I don't think Roger, if the lad comes here, you'll have many problems with him, I'm sure you'll go fishin' and other father son things, he will adapt pretty quickly, your difficulty will be getting the father to sign. He may see the benefit to his son's life or he may just think about himself. 'Times are a changin' in China and he may be in for a rude shock in his old age.
Every situation is different. Hope you can sort yours out Roger to the advantage of all.
Last edited by Chris Seaborn on 02/08/13, 12:14 pm; edited 2 times in total